I'm so frustrated by FF.N right now I could just scream!
In fact, I did. A lot.
All I want is to upload one f***in' drabble. My diabolical plans for it are simple: add it as a second chapter to the re-titled Fujitaka drabble. 'Meaning It' is showing up just fine. It's the Li-kun drabble that's been causing me problems for...oh, 45 minutes now. And no, that isn't including the writing time.
I hate computers that won't work. They're evil. Someone call me an exorcist...I've got 2 that need help.
I've rewritten the damn file on 3 different disks and two hard drives. I've uploaded it several times, only to have to remove it because FF.N refuses to admit the chapter is there once you open the story. From the outside, yes, it says two chapters. From the inside? Forget it. And then, when I go back to try adding the chapter again, it tells me that I don't have any documents uploaded anyway.
So, in case it never works:
That Special Look
Li Syaoran was not, at first, overly concerned by the way his friend was looking at him; Daidouji always looked at him with an expression of unholy interest. That it was sharper than usual didn’t bother him much because he was with Sakura and few things bothered him then. His reflexive look for an escape route was mostly due to having grown up with four older sisters.
It was not until this cursory examination of the room revealed Hiiragizawa furtively crossing himself and looking for a way out that Syaoran began to worry. But by then it was too late.
Time for that penta-drabble I promised everyone! Even though you've all given up on me ever updating this thing and so no longer check on it. ^_~
I'll be putting this up at FF.N sometime soon.
Disclaimer: Trigun copyright Yasuhiro Nightow, Young King Comics, and Pioneer Inc. Used without permission or profit.
What Really Hurt
"Why?" You were so hurt that you limped as you approached me. "Why did you do this horrible thing?" Yet so angry, at me, at the world, it didn’t matter, and you probably didn’t know which it was, anyway. "How could you?" Then you drew back and punched me with … less than everything you have. I hoped, even as my glasses fell, I hoped it was because you didn’t really believe that I had done what it seemed I had. I knew you did, though. That wasn’t the first time you’d shown how deeply the legend of ‘The Humanoid Typhoon’ had got into you.
Everyone believes those rumors, I know. It didn’t bother me before. Trouble has followed me for so long that I really am Trouble now. We’ve all seen how people panic when they think I’m in town; it doesn’t matter that I haven’t done as much as sneeze, they panic, things happen, and before anyone can blink, Vash the Stampede has destroyed another town.
But now it bothers me that you believe. When I think about it, it bothers me. Maybe you didn’t hit me with all the force you have because you didn’t want to hurt me, no matter how much I’d just hurt you. And I did hurt you; you didn’t know they were okay. It doesn’t matter that Julius and Moore are okay because, for you, for a few awful minutes, they were dead and nothing and no one can take those minutes of belief away. They will always be dead for those few minutes. I deserved to be hit as hard as you could, and I know you could have hit harder. I didn’t even have a black eye, though that could have been the ice.
I don’t understand you. You’ve always been so friendly, so trusting. Even when you had no proof I wasn’t worth every cent of that $$60 billion, you would wave cheerfully and call out a lively hello. Do you know that you’re the only person to believe from the first that I’m the real Vash? Probably not and it doesn’t make a difference; you believed it and you were kind to me. Before that day, you laughed to see me drinking with strangers, wrestling with kids, at whatever predicament I could get into. You saved my life more than once. You watched me do good things and knew that I did them because I wanted to help. Still you assumed I was capable of killing those kids. Worse, you believed that I had done it in cold blood, under contract, for money. Maybe you thought that I just didn’t understand the situation, maybe you thought I’d been lied to, whatever you thought you still believed I’d done it.
That punch hurt worse than if you’d hit me with all your strength, because you did it. More than that, much more than that, it hurt that you believed enough to hit me. Then, worst of all, you cried.
In other notes tonight, I'm getting close to 'tanked'. Haven't had a drink in ages, but since I'm free of the family for a while, I thought I'd let loose. By god it's hard to type in this state. No wonder I don't do it often.
Though it does get me to go through my cd collection. ^.^ Drunk!Chelle likes music. Can't dance a step, though.
I'm up to 49 fics for Sakura-san's challenge - though I can't quite recall what the new ones are right now.
Speaking of New (ha ha ha! Aren't I clever? No? Well, okay, I admit that wasn't funny. But I do try!) progress has been made! I've reached the last section of that wretched chapter! And I hate it. It's really jerky because I've been working in fits and starts. I deleted six pages at one point because it would have been too long otherwise, and it was ... well, as much as I liked it, it just didn't fit. *siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* Gomen, Clow-san. Gomen, Madoushi-san. Your mention had to be cut.
In any case, I don't like much of what happens after Tomoyo wakes up the first time (some of you will understand what I'm talking about, the rest of you are just sunk) and I'm not sure how to fix it. Well, actually, I'm not sure I have the energy/inclination to properly revise it. It's huge, people! It's just big.
So, I throw open this invitation: If anyone wants to beta this beast, email me and I shall send it to you. I swear I'll listen closely to all advice and criticism. I think I need to discuss this thing with someone who isn't Circe, because she sees it through my eyes, and I really need to have a fresh look at it.
As for my other fics:
Momiji refuses to be himself.
Fujitaka and Nadeshiko have slammed the door in my face. Repeatedly.
The whole of Potter-dom is refusing to speak to me.
Daria is merely sitting there, staring. Tom is channel surfing, wondering where Sick, Sad World is.
Shigure is tormenting his poor editor, which is actually progress. Finally!
Haruka and Seta appear to have stepped out for cigarettes. (I told them that those things aren't healthy.)
Mutsumi and Milly are giggling like the airheads they are.
Vash was a stand-up guy and came through for me! Yay! Penta-drabble when next I update. (I cut Milly's part, Sakura-san, and changed small bits of what you've already seen.)
Tomoyo and Eriol...*starts to cry* I don't know what's wrong with me! I just don't know! They refuse to work with me, they refuse to work with each other, and Eriol is refusing to work with anyone but Sonomi and I can't imagine why since he's never even met her!
I've been traumatized over Touki, thank you very much FF.N, home of the worst crap out there!
Glen Quinn is dead (may he rest in peace, the dear man) which makes it difficult to want to write Doyle.
And I'm still not able to write those Miroku/Sango bribe fics because I'm still afraid that I'll butcher their characters. If only Cartoon Network would get to those episodes! (Though dubbed...ergh....)
The good news, however, is that July is over. That means that the world can stop being crazy, right?
Well, FF.N got quick! Ayumi Ai has already had her account deleted, or whatever it is that happens when you get a plagarist report sent in on you.
I never did get to see what that second comment on the story was. *sigh* Nearly Almost Close Enough only has five reviews...I could have counted her two as my own, right?
I'm kidding. I'm just surprised that it moved so qickly, and I've got to go because the little one here has a stick and is about to put his own eye out.
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:: Friday, June 27, 2003 ::
Naaaaaaaaaaaa, I'm not dead!
Two more to add to my fic list:
George Weasley/Katie Bell....I'd almost forgotten about them, but they've been kicking around since...book two? Anyway, the uproar over the latest offering has reminded me and I must fic them, even though the dream I had that I was going to use for the fic won't work now.
Daria/Tom from Daria. Circe will kill me, as she still prefers Trent.
I tried to write a quick story for two of my original characters, but Sho refuses to cooperate. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Mai was happy enough to babble away. Well, I should say that she was willng to work with me 'on paper' since Sho was happy enough to keep me half awake with the story I was trying to write. But the second I get in front of the computer, he runs screaming into the woods. Really. It only involved dinner with a family of raving lunatics.
Speaking of writing, my fanfic moves not at all. I think I'm getting depressed, and stressed over having to watch all three kids all day long, and seeing no end in sight. (Yes, I'm still waiting to hear about that job I interviewed for. I'm really beginning to hate being unemployed.) In any case, my fanfic is at a standstill and it's driving me insane.
Other people don't seem to be having a problem moving my fic, though. I saw this and I thought 'Hey! Sonomi/Fujitaka! I could go for some of that!' and it looked strangely familiar. O.O;;
I've been keeping an eye on FF.N just in case someone tried to rip off Suppi-chan or Tin or Sakura-san, or any of the authors I really respect (again, in the case of Tin, though you were really hard to get in touch with!), and I was...blindsided. Why me? Aside from the fact that I've got the most Sonomi/Fujitaka fic out there, I mean. (There's not much, so I can't feel like I'm bragging there.) Why not Circe? And why that one? And why not just mention me so that I don't have to do anything about it? (I have it on good authority that it's been taken care of. I still haven't managed a coherent response, as you can tell.)
I mean, she didn't take it word-for-word. She changed some ideas, and the end, but I recognized it in 10 lines. (But yes, I wrote it, so I should have.) I'm wondering if I'd have taken it better if she'd said something about me and my fic. Anyone else have thoughts on the matter of 'intensive borrowing of ideas' and how you'd deal with it? Other than my surprised silence at ff.n? I think I've read work by all of the people who've ever commented here, so I know you guys have been through this, or will be soon.
Here it is at last - my comprehensive list of fics to write in response to the challenge I wasn't actually issued. (Which means I'm crazy for doing this, yes, I understand.) I can promise that the list will not get smaller, though I might add a pair or two.
To be clear on this, I should mention that not all of these are couples I want to see together, some of them I thought about and 'yeah, I could get behind that' or are ideas that I've seen done poorly and wanted to try my hand at. As always, ask and I shall impart my wisdom. (I'll tell you which couples I'm writing just to see if I can, and which I actually like seeing together.)
Mahou Tsukai Tai:
His and Her Circumstances:
Tohru/Momiji (Because I bet I can make it work!)
Pokémon: (Yes, I do find this embarrassing. But the games are great fun!)
Snow Fairy Sugar:
Salt/Pepper (I'm strongly reminded of Syaoran and Tomoyo when watching them)
Ayashi no Ceres:
Fushigi Yûgi: (I'm up to volume 7, so these are far down on the do-to list)
Lord of the Ring:
Anime: 9 series, 31 couples
Manga: 3 series, 9 couples
Non-Anime: 2 series, 5 couples
Final: 45 fics
The possible additions would be Yukino's parents from Kare Kano, Meimi's parents from Kaitou St. Tail (I haven't seen enough St.Tail to ship anyone else, and yes, I find it freakish that I'm shipping married couples, but they're so cute!) and Eriol/Nakuru, based on something Draco thinks in The More is my Unrest, and the fact that Yue had a thing for Clow. Yes, that last is one just to see if I could do it.
Other than that, I'm losing my mind, swiftly and terribly as opposed to slowly but surely, staying home with Circe's kids. I want five minutes of peace and quiet so that I can figure out when 'ha' is meant to be pronounced 'wa'. That's it.
But now is not that time, since I need to hassle two of them about cleaning their rooms, and one of them about using the potty. And I have a two loads of laundry to fold. Domestic bliss my @$$.
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